Most of us enjoy a good story whether it is in a book or movie format. When our children were young, we would read several stories every night before bedtime. After our oldest daughter was tucked in, she would stay awake much longer and tell herself stories until she fell asleep. Children are wonderfully creative at imagining themselves to be heroic and triumphant in their stories.
However, when difficulties arise we can lose the ability to tell ourselves a good story with a positive ending. For example, when a child is bullied, their story can sound something like: “No one likes me; I am no good; no one wants to be my friend; and I will always be alone.” Stories like this are based on fear, self-doubt, and insecurity. The child does not need to tell himself this story too many times before he will actually believe it and internalize it. If we know the child is telling himself a negative story, we can help him to rewrite it with a positive ending.
Storytelling is not just for children. Adults tell themselves stories just as often as children. In fact, we tell ourselves so many stories throughout the course of a day about our finances, career, health, relationships with family and friends, and future that we oftentimes do not even recognize that it is a story. We assume these stories are true.
When we creat these stories, it goes through our own editing process. This editing process is based on our assumptions, anxieties, and interpretations of past experiences. It is definitely not an exact science. On a positive note, when we are aware that we are creating stories and not everything that we think and believe is necessarily true, we can change the ending to our story. We can give ourselves grace and space to have a positive ending or more strength to deal with a negative ending.
